The records of cheating have been there as long as people have identified the existence of marriage. They may have given it fancy names like infidelity, adultery, betrayal and so on, but in the end, it all comes down to aching hearts, teary eyes and broken trust.
Cheating, as you look from the surface, may seem like a vile, repugnant act but most of the times, there are many deep psychological and biological factors owing to it. Generally, when we talk about cheating, we often associate it with men. However, throughout history, we find evidence that women cheat as well; maybe not as much as men but they still do. I am writing this article from a gender-neutral perspective. Neither diminishing the morale of general men nor objectifying the whole group of women as victims. I focus the cheating here coming from the side of men to merely address the topic.
So now as I have established my grounds, let us dig deeper and find out why do men cheat.
The biology of cheating
First of all, there is always science. The biology of humans that differ from one to another. The variations in a number of hormones like Vasopressin and Dopamine can be held responsible for the creating the urge for people to cheat. Also, the alleles of genes work in mysterious ways to distinguish some as loyal monogamous and the others as cheating polygamous.
Then there comes evolutionary biology. The biology of women that predisposes them to refrain from sex. As there is always a risk of pregnancy, women do not prefer multiple partners. But men can have sex as much as they want without having to think of the consequences. Thus with so many to choose from the table, one might find it hard not to give in. Now, this may not hold true for every guy out there who cheats. I am just implying to one of the many probable reasons why men cheat. But hey, if the shoe fits.
Lack of Appreciation
Now let’s move from the scientific perspective to a side more personal and sentimental. When it comes to emotions and feelings, guys have just as much of it as girls do and sometimes maybe even more. They may not show it like we girls do because it is not considered manly in this stereotypical society. But they care and love. And in return want to be appreciated just the same. William James once said, ” The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated “. And this holds true for everyone falling under the genus of Homo and the species sapiens.
Men want someone who can make them feel like they are important. They may not be Hercules for the whole world but they would definitely love to be your Superman. So when they feel neglected or that they do not hold a place of importance in your life, they would try to seek it from others. And in doing so, they would wind up with someone else. You would definitely not want to lose someone special because you were too proud to acknowledge his efforts, would you?
The ka-ching effect
In this fast moving world, everything revolves around money. So you should not be surprised to know that cheating can also emanate from obvious money reasons. Men who earn considerably more money than their partners are more likely to cheat. Scientific studies have shown that men, who are well off, do not regard their partners as someone with good looks. They feel as if they are entitled to better things and that their value is high. As conceited as it sounds, some scientific studies have found this to be true. On the other hand, there is a 15percent chance that men who are financially dependent on women of the household will cheat. It is because the fact that women are in the dominant part of the house affects their masculine psyche and hurts their ego.
No time for love
Everybody needs a little bit of love. But when daily chores and busy schedules keep women away, men feel like they are being neglected and pushed away. But men are emotional creatures. They want to be taken care of. They want to be asked “How was your day, honey?” when they get back from work. They want to be treated like a child once in a while and want to feel loved just as much as women do. But when women start overlooking the sentimental side of men and label them as being too needy or too clingy then, the relationship just might jump off the edge. And so to say, there may be other people involved in pushing that car downhill.
Unsettled emotions from the past
Falling in love is easy, it is keeping the love alive that is hard. As a couple, you face many such events that may either make or break your relationships. And there may be something, in particular, that might be troubling him from the past. The heaviness of that emotional baggage may misguide him towards the path of cheating. Maybe the trauma he faced as a child when his dad cheated on his mom or being cheated on by the one person he loved before made it hard for him to trust people. The emotional turmoil that those events created inside him might be too hard to get over. And the after effect may be his inability to make the right decisions.
Often the fire in the relationship lasts as long as the honeymoon phase. After that, in most cases, its all downhill. The phase where you start discovering the true version of your significant other can be a monumental one in your relationship. You can either love every dark side and overcome their innermost fears or, you just fall out of love. It is normal because you find out that s/he may not be the one you hoped for or because as the time passes you may grow apart. So sometimes, even when the thread you are holding on to is broken, it’s hard letting go. Because you are used to it and fear you miss it if it’s gone. Thus instead of admitting the truth, they cheat.
There may be several more reasons why men cheat or why women cheat. Whatever the reasons there maybe, cheating is an awful thing. Because you do not realize that you are putting another person’s feelings, their emotions at stake. You are keeping their ability to trust at jeopardy. It may feel like a miserable idea to search the internet to find out the reason why men cheat. But actually, its is not. Making yourself aware of such things may help you prevent from being the casualty of cheating and its horrors in future. And even inspire you to revive your crumbling relations.